Over 70% of seniors have experienced at least one loss in the last 2.5 years, according to the Melbourne Ageing Research Collaboration. In fact, old people are more likely to encounter the death of a loved one than any other age group. They’re also susceptible to anticipatory grief.
Both seniors and their caregivers can experience pre-loss grief, but not many know how to navigate the resulting emotions. What exactly is preparatory grief, and how can you cope? Read on to find out!
What Is Anticipatory Grief?
Anticipatory or pre-loss grief occurs before an actual loss or death. It’s natural to experience feelings of grief in anticipation of losing someone, as it can have a significant impact on our lives. This type of grief occurs when we realize a loss is inevitable.
Pre-loss grief is common when:
- A loved one has a terminal illness
- Caregivers are facing their own mortality
- A loved one abandoned their family
- A loved one is struggling with addiction
- Caregivers can’t communicate with a loved one
Anticipatory and traditional grief are similar. They can trigger strong emotions. You can cope with both through therapeutic interventions.
However, pre-loss grief triggers conflicting feelings and emotional instability. For example, you may feel concern for your loved one and relief that they won’t be in pain.
Anticipatory grief doesn’t replace the natural grieving process. Instead, it’s an additional form of grief that presents its own challenges and complex emotions.
Symptoms
Pre-loss grief can manifest both emotionally and physically. The emotional preparation can cause:
- Feelings of anger, anxiety, sadness, or guilt
- A sense of hopelessness
- Changes in sleep patterns or appetite
- Difficulty concentrating
- Fatigue
- Increased irritability
- Preoccupation with an impending loss
- Thinking about “what if” scenarios often
- Physical pain or discomfort
- Withdrawing from social activities
- Changes in routine
Coping Strategies
Pre-loss grief isn’t as universally acknowledged as traditional grief. You may need to apply uncommon coping mechanisms to navigate the situation. Here are some coping strategies that may help.
Identify Your Emotions
After a loved one’s death, communities come together to acknowledge their shared loss and pain. This isn’t common during senior end-of-life care, before a death. Acknowledging your emotions, however, is the first step toward healing.
Write down what you’re feeling, whether it’s sadness, anger, or guilt. Use creative outlets to express your feelings, such as:
- Drawing or painting
- Journaling or creative writing
- Dancing
- Singing
After recognizing how you’re feeling, talk to a friend, family member, or therapist. Expressing your emotions can help validate them.
Don’t ignore your emotions. Otherwise, they may manifest in negative ways, such as alcoholism or overeating. Expressing your emotions will help them dissipate more quickly than keeping them in.
Seek Support
Instead of trying to cope with these complex feelings alone, consider consulting a trained professional. A therapist can help you apply effective techniques for navigating your feelings. They’ll help you prepare for the loss when it does occur.
Consider:
- One-on-one counseling
- Grief counseling
- Caregiver support groups
- Group therapy/support groups
- Family grief counseling
You can find support groups through your local senior living community. Joining a group can help you process your feelings in a safe, non-judgmental environment. Lean on people who understand what you’re going through.
Family grief counseling is ideal if a loss will affect the entire family. One-on-one counseling can help you find coping skills and mechanisms based on your unique concerns and needs.
Lean on your support system outside of these settings. For example, you can talk to friends and family members about what you’re experiencing.
Speaking with friends can help validate your grief experience. This can make it easier to manage your emotions.
Make the Most of the Time Left
Spend quality time with your loved one and try to take these moments in. Use this as an opportunity to have important, meaningful conversations.
For example, if there are unresolved issues between family members, clear the air. Make the most of the time you have together to avoid future regrets.
You may want to discuss financial and legal matters at this time. The process can be complex. Understand what’s in place and how to access this information.
Try to create new memories with your loved one. Participate in activities you enjoy together. You can find opportunities to bond through your local senior living community’s events calendar.
You can also:
- Look at old photos together
- Reminisce and tell stories
- Play your favorite games
- Listen to your favorite songs
Loss can trigger complicated emotions alongside grief, including anger. Remember not to bottle them in.
Instead, try to forgive one another and accept what you can’t change. You’ll feel better knowing you’re in a good place later.
Practice Self-Care
Neglecting your mental, physical, and emotional health can cause burnout, especially for caregivers. According to the National Library of Medicine, the prevalence of caregiver burnout ranges from 23 to 59.2% between different studies. Caregiver burnout can cause:
- Increased mortality
- Poorer self-care
- Social isolation
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Financial stress
Seniors who experience pre-loss grief may neglect their health and isolate themselves. According to the National Poll on Healthy Aging, 34% of adults ages 50 to 80 feel isolated from others. Social isolation can cause:
- Difficulty regulating emotions
- Increased risk of poor diet and obesity
- Increased risk of depression and anxiety
- Cognitive decline and memory issues
- Increased susceptibility to stress
- Weakened immune systems
- Chronic pain and inflammation
- Reduced sleep quality
- Increased risk of heart disease and stroke
To avoid these health issues, practice self-care. Effective self-care activities include:
- Journaling
- Exercising
- Getting enough sleep each night
- Eating a healthy diet
- Meditating
- Taking breaks
- Enjoying hobbies
Navigate Your Grief Today
Anticipatory grief can trigger complex emotions. Don’t let it cause your mental or physical health to deteriorate. Instead, ask for help.
Remember, you can find many helpful resources through your local senior living community. Our team at Rittenhouse Village at Michigan City has received the Reader’s Choice Award for Best Retirement Community for 13 years straight.
Discover our exclusive lifestyle programs, comfortable senior living options, and award-winning excellence for a life of fulfillment and ease. Contact us now to schedule your tour.
